31 Flavors of Forgiveness
by BFTLandMWandSEK
Summary: Mabel's mad at Bill. Now Arjun has to help him apologize. A side story for "The Gospel of Dipper Pines." Written as an apology for the prank chapter for daytimedeer.
**31 Flavors of Forgiveness**

 **(A** _ **The Gospel of Dipper Pines**_ **side story)**

 **31 6-12-1-22-15-18-19 15-6 6-15-18-7-9-22-5-14-5-19-19**

 **16-15-19-20-5-4 18 13-1-25 2016**

* * *

Never in Arjun's life did he ever expect Bill Cipher of all people to need his help, or to even so much as admit it. But here he was, not three feet inside the Mystery Shack, exhausted from a long day at work, when a certain blond sprinted to his side, jabbing the tip of his cane into Arjun's chest. "Me and you need to talk now."

That was the thing about Bill. Once he wanted something, there was no force on Earth that could stop him. Arjun remembered a time when, shortly after he started spending most of his free time at the Shack, he witnessed Mabel and Bill get into a huge argument over what kind of pizza they should order. Mabel wanted Hawaiian with the intent of adding marshmallow fluff and peanut butter on top. Bill disregarded the whole point of Pizza Thursdays and wanted Chinese. No one could convince him otherwise and Arjun ended up ordering Chinese takeout. Bill refused to eat anything but the soy sauce packets.

Now Arjun was being dragged into depths of the Gift Shop, getting a quick moment to glance at forty-seven chia pets Bill was raising before being forced to sit on the mattress. He fixed his skewed glasses, getting a moment to watch Bill pace restlessly in front of him. For once, the half-demon looked worried. Arjun spent a good few moments fixing his appearance, combing fingers through black hair, wondering vaguely where Mabel was, until the silence in the room grew too long to bear. "So—"

"Looking Glass, what do you do to get someone to stop being mad at you?"

That was not what Arjun expected to hear. Arjun closed his mouth as the implications of Bill's question settled in. "Wait. You actually care what someone thinks about you?" he asked.

"No!" Bill stopped his pace, throwing his arms into the air in frustration. "But Mabel's not telling me where she hid my dog leashes and she needs to get over whatever problem she has with me so that I can get them back."

Arjun pinched the bridge of his nose. _That_ sounded like a typical Bill Cipher problem. The agent counted to ten, making sure his head was cleaned of all annoyance before speaking. "Where do I begin? Bill, you can't make someone stop being mad at you. All you can do is apologize and pray that they forgive you, but that has to happen at their own time."

"I can't wait for her to get over it," Bill snapped. "If I don't take my pets out for a walk soon, they'll die."

"Please don't tell me you're talking about those chia pets."

"Don't judge my life choices, Looking Glass. You're the guy who works in the government for a living."

"They're made of clay. You can't just—"

"We're not here to talk about my hobbies or else we'll finally talk about how I record your sleep talking three nights a week for future analysis—"

Arjun choked. "You've been _what?"_

"—No, instead we're talking about what I can do to make Shooting Star get over herself before my pets die on me." Bill dropped to the ground, crossing his legs as he folded his arms over his chest. "Well? Start talking."

Arjun groaned. "Fine, but this is not the last time we're talking about how creepy you are." Bill stuck out his tongue, and Arjun was more than tempted to throw the nearest knickknack he could grab at him. Instead, he counted again, this time going all the way to thirty before he felt ready to talk in a calm manner. "Okay, so what did you do that made Mabel angry to begin with?"

"Why are ya presuming that it was something _I_ did?" Bill demanded.

"Because I know the kind of person you are," Arjun shot back. "Can you please just tell me already?"

Bill grumbled, circling a finger around the many holes in his jeans. "Like I said, I don't get why she's upset. All I did was tell her about the death of Elisa Lam and asked her a question about it and she flipped out on me." Bill seemed surprised when Arjun asked him to explain who Elisa Lam was, but the shock was quickly replaced with unadulterated glee. "Well, ya see here, Elisa Lam was this lady who died in a water tower on the top of some hotel you nitwits think is haunted. But there are some video tapes caught of her before she died and she was acting crazy, like waving her arms around like a mad man and talking to thin air. People used to think she was on drugs, but there wasn't any in her system. Well, nothing except her bipolar medication."

Arjun suddenly saw where this was going. "Oh God. Someone shoot me." He breathed, placing his face in his hands. "Do I even want to know what question you asked Mabel?"

"Well, you were the one asking, so yeah. You do." Bill leaned back, supporting his weight on his hands. "I asked Shooting Star if she also planned on dying in a water tower and that's when she flipped."

Nothing entered or left Arjun's brain for a solid moment. He supposed that he shouldn't be surprised by the lack of tack (Bill Cipher being a demon and everything), but nothing could prevent the stunned look on his face. Shouldn't an all-seeing being understand when a joke would be offensive or not? Was basic human etiquette really so lost on him?

Arjun looked back at Bill and saw his toying idly with his cane, not a trance of guilt to be found.

Bill had no idea what he did wrong.

"Okay, Bill? What you said was really not okay. You basically just said that all bipolar people are bound to go crazy and kill themselves. I don't blame Mabel for being so mad at you."

Bill rolled her eyes. "Isn't she just being sensitive?"

"No. You need to apologize."

"But what did I even do?"

"Look—I get that this whole human interactions thing is hard for you," Arjun said. "But you're never going to get it unless you admit when you're wrong and apologize. The longer you wait to tell her that you're sorry, the less likely she'll be to forgive you."

"What if I did nothing wrong?" Bill huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Arjun sighed before cupping the side of his mouth. "Mabel, wanna get some ice cream?"

A few thumps were heard overhead before her voice echoed from the opposite side of the Shack. "Heck yeah!" Bill scowled as she banged down the hallways, turning his sharp glare onto Arjun.

The man rose to his feet, giving Bill a pointed look. "When she comes, you apologize right away and just accept that you did something wrong," he ordered. "Got it?"

Bill stuck out his tongue before changing tactics and flashing his middle finger.

* * *

 **Vruub iru wkh sudqn!**

* * *

Mabel didn't give Bill the chance to apologize. The moment she came running down the stairs with a sandal in hand and another hanging halfway off her foot, the smile disappeared from her face. The atmosphere in the hallway chilled as she finally made the last few steps. Arjun waited for her to explode, but she seemed more focus on scooping her keys from the bowel the taxidermy Dodo guarded. She clenched them in her hand and breathed.

"Arjun!" She latched herself to said man's side, immediately spilling into the story of her day, how she wanted to start a new knitting project but didn't have the right color yarn. She didn't seem to notice Arjun giving Bill cueing looks, but she certainly stiffen when Bill limped toward her. She gave the half-demon the cold shoulder before loudly asking Arjun, "Is the jerk face coming with us?"

Arjun shrugged, trying his best to appear neutral. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"He wanted to go."

Mabel opened her mouth, a snarky comment on the tip of her tongue, when Bill spoke up. "In my defense, I've never had ice cream before."

Her face loosened. She turned to him, brows furrowed as she looked at him with all the world's pity. Tears stalled at her eyes. "Really?"

Bill shrugged. "Yeah. People really don't give that kind of stuff to the local homeless kid."

That got Mabel to shut up, but not in the way Arjun wanted. She was quiet the whole drive to the ice cream parlor, hand tucked under chin as she gazed out the window, watching the small town streets pass by her like a silent movie.

* * *

 **Wklv wdnhv sodfh vrphwlph ehiruh fkdswhu 27**

* * *

"You two stay out here while I get the ice cream," Arjun said. Mabel frowned when she realized she would have to be waiting on the curb outside the little parlor with Bill, but said nothing as she sat at the edge of the hot pavement. He ignored her petulance, instead pointing a quick finger. "A scoop of cake batter and a scoop of cotton candy, right?" She nodded. "Alright. Bill, what flavors do you like?"

He didn't look away from the nails, which he had been studying for the past few minutes. "Don't know. Never had any."

"I mean in general."

"Anything salty?"

"I'll see what I can do." Arjun glanced down at Mabel and, when he was sure she was busy texting a coworker in Burbank, gave Bill a silent look. It was nothing more than a nod of the head and narrowing of the eyes, but it said enough. Now was his opportunity to talk with Mabel. Don't mess it up.

Arjun strutted into the parlor, letting the air conditioning washing over him. He focused his attention on the forty one and then some flavors presented before him, getting Mabel's oddly specific order and his own scoop of rocky road. After a little browsing, he found a new saltwater taffy flavor and ordered it for Bill. By the time he paid and walked out with the three cones, Bill and Mabel were sitting side by side on the edge of the sidewalk. Bill's cane lay across his lap, and he stayed silent as Mabel gestured with her hands. "…but it still hurts when you say stuff like that, Bill," she was saying. "Remember that one day I came back to the Shack in tears? There's this huge whole stigma thing out there for people like me. I don't expect you to really understand all this, but I want to know that I'm safe in my own home. Okay?"

Bill shrugged. "Fine," he said, not sounding remotely apologetic. "No more joking about your bipolar stuff. Got it, but you gotta clean out Schrodinger's litter box."

Mabel laughed, any sign of animosity leaving her face. "No way, José."

So Bill managed to take his advice and apologize. Arjun risked a smile as he sat on Mabel's other side. "Anyone want their ice cream or can I eat it?" He gave Bill a proud look as he distributed their orders, telling the half-human about the salty flavor he wanted him to try.

Mabel licked greedily at her cone as they watched Bill attentively bite into his scoop. The watched as he nodded before making a pained noise. He spat it out, ignoring their laughter when he shook his head. "My entire head's in pain. What the heck is this?"

"That, my dear sir, is what we call a brain freeze," Mabel said.

"Would a brain freeze be when someone takes their brain and literally freezes in in a vat of hydrogen-peroxide? If anything, this is just a temporary headache."

Arjun gave a good-natured roll of the eyes. "How do you like your ice cream?" he asked.

Bill shrugged. "Good, but not as good as the last time I had any."

"I thought you said that you never had ice cream before?" Mabel said, brows furrowing.

"Why do you believe anything I tell you at this point?"

Arjun laughed when Mabel shoved her ice cream into Bill's face and only laughed harder when she made sure to do the same to him. The air was hot and humid and, within a few minutes, all of their fingers were coated with the melting treats. But Mabel was happy and Bill was being less of a jerk. Arjun guessed that made him pretty happy himself.

* * *

 **YSIN VRK BTYVZTO OS QS OAYS TCS GDCY**

 **TF UUMN MG?**

* * *

This was written for my dear friend daytimedeer (on tumblr) who is a precious bean and cried when I did the April Fool's Day prank. They requested a one shot about Mabel, Bill, and Arjun getting ice cream and having a break for once. They do that… kind of. I kind of wanted a reason for them to go out and it devolved into this.

If you want, you can look up the death of Elisa Lam. She's a real person with a really bizarre death that a lot of people do theorize was an unfortunate side effect of a manic episode. I personally think she was possessed by ghosts, but whatever floats you boat. Just don't do what Bill did. Not cool. Also, I know that the parlor they went to in the story is 41 Flavors, but I thought that titling this "31 Flavors" would make the reference a bit more obvious.

I will actually update TGODP as soon as possible as I am battling a bad case of writer's block right now. I think I'll be able to get over it pretty soon, so let's hope and pray I can actually do that update schedule I've talked to highly about.

 **Thanks for reading! If you liked this, go thank daytimedeer for being an awesome bean!**


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